YOU DESERVE THE ODD SELF-LIMITED PITY PARTY
You deserve the best self-care, so, SOMETIMES you deserve the odd self-limited pity party too! The self-limited pity party is something I have perfected. Friday morning I woke up after a horrific night’s sleep. I had a headache and I was not feeling motivated. I was soaked in sweat, chilled and very anxious. There was so much I had planned to do that day.
With one quick executive decision, I changed my plan. I have learned that managing mental health must include flexibility! SO … I planned a PITY PARTY instead!!
I got out of bed, had a quick shower, made tea, grabbed the Dad’s oatmeal cookies and headed back to bed to spend the day snuggling with Saffi, my amazing feline companion. Saffi has saved my day many times and I write about her in Saffi, The Keeper of My Soul. I needed a day to let myself feel all the grief, rage, sadness etc. that I keep bottled in most of the time. I NEEDED TO CRY!
THE SELF-LIMITED PART
I also determined, at exactly the same time, THAT THIS WOULD BE A ONE DAY GIFT to myself to cry over things I feel I have lost control over and that tomorrow, I would be up and back to living life. I always set a time frame for my pity parties and I make sure I do not overrun that time. Negative feelings are best acknowledged, but do not let them take over.
Your pity party can take any form you prefer. IT IS ALL ABOUT YOU! You get to choose what to do or not do. You get to be lazy, take a run, cry all day, what ever you need! Pity parties are very individual, therapeutic and valuable! We must acknowledge the sad, dark, lonely, not so good feelings!
To know what happiness is, you must know sadness. When you are able to experience contentment, you must have experienced discontentment. To be joyful, you must also know sorrow. When you are able to recognize a good relationship, you likely have had a bad one. LIFE IS NOT AN EVEN PLAYING FIELD. This is what I always told Michael (my husband), but he never quite understood. Given that I do not want sorrow and discontentment to be the overruling emotions in my life on a day-to-day basis, I give myself permission to have a SELF-LIMITED PITY PARTY, on occasion.
A conversation with a friend the night before was likely the catalyst for my mood change. A single conversation had brought me from managing mode to self-pity mode in an instant! I am very certain YOU have had a similar experience in life. You are moving along, working, playing, being an adult and then WOMP!!! COVID has been a catalyst for many life-changing WOMPS!! This is about perception and you can dig deeper into perception by reading How To Link Emotional and Mental Health.
You feel SAD, OVERWHELMED AND lost and that is OKAY. If you do not let yourself feel these emotions in some way, they will OVERTAKE YOU. So plan a party. Give yourself a quiet, soul-searching day, plan a day for a road trip. Do what YOU NEED to do. Permit the emotions, feel them, do what you think is necessary to take care of yourself and then get up and put them back where they are managed again and move on. You deserve the odd self-limited pity party. DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO TAKE CARE OF YOU!!!!
Just like we need to manage our physical wellness, we need to manage our emotional wellness. The self-limited pity party is one tool in your self-care tool box.
Drop me an email at email@example.com to share your thoughts, suggest conversation topics or ask any pity-party related questions.
LIVEFATANDFIT AND BE WELL!